Gosh, I love to talk... (Post # 4)

Before I get started (again! - it won't be long and I will be up to date with my journey - promise!) here are some links to information that I find helpful. They relate to hcg levels, thin lining and recurrent miscarriage.

http://www.pregnancy-calendars.net/hcg.aspx - This will give you a little more information on hcg levels (thought some people might be interested since I discussed the hcg hormone last post).

http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/content/17/5/1249.full - Some research with certain things to improve endometrium the thickness of endometrium lining.

http://www.liebertonline.com/doi/abs/10.1089/jwh.2006.15.442 - This article is about viagra improving lining (it is supposed to send more blood to the uterus).

http://miscarriage.about.com/od/twoormoremiscarriages/p/recurmisccauses.htm - This article touches on recurrent miscarriages and the different causes there are.

Two of these links were found through some lovely women on an online forum I use. An online forum can be a fantastic and great way to share knowledge with each other. Hoping that in the end, we all get our very much wanted baby.


April 2010

I started the contraceptive pill about mid April. I was told to take it for 3 weeks. Just as my 3 weeks was close to being up, I had to start an injection (in my stomach) called Lucrin. Lucrin stops your hormones from working more or less so that the fertility specialist can control my cycle to the best of his abililty. Lucrin is VERY expensive. For a 10ml bottle (tiny) is was about $305. Once I stopped the pill (but continued to inject Lucrin) I had to wait for a 'bleed'. Once that happened, I went and had a blood test. This was to check to make sure my hormones were exactly where they should be before I start the FSH injections. Everything came back great, so I started my 2nd injection. I decided to do both in the morning so I could relax at night. The Lucrin needle was a little tricky at times. I had to draw the correct amount up into the syringe. With the Puregon (FSH) it was in a pen look-a-like device. I just had to screw a new needle on every time, dial up the amount to be given (as the canular was sitting in the 'pen' and just inject, and push down on the end until it stops). The needle on the puregon pen is so super fine you can't feel it. It is most definitely my favourite needle to give! (Okay, now I sound like a needle lover!)

I got an ultrasound and was told that I am ready to have my eggs picked up (EPU) and to take my trigger shot at midnight. A trigger shot is actually synthetic hcg. It ripens the follicles/eggs and gets them ready for EPU/ovulation. They like to do EPU pretty much 35-36 hours after the trigger injection. So my EPU was at noon, a day and a half after the trigger.

My husband and I drove down to the city. This took 5.5 hours. I was getting anxious and feeling uncomfortable due to being stimulated and having so many follicles. Most women only produce one egg/one mature follicle in a natural cycle where as I had about 20 mature follicles.

We checked in to the the hotel which was close to the clinic. I was starting to have a mini freak out. So, my lovely husband decided to take me to dinner on the harbour. It was nice to forget about things, even for an hour.

The next morning I woke up and just had a long shower and a nice breakfast. I was not allowed to put anything perfumed on as perfume is not good for the eggs.

We arrived at the clinic at 11.15am. I put the lovely hospital gown on, DH put his lovely shoe covers on (that barely went over his feet) and we waited. Everyone at the clinic were soooo nice and made me feel very at ease. The scientist came in to talk to me and explained what will go on.

Many people are put under general anaesthesia for EPU's but I was not as the clinic I go to prefer not to. So I was completely awake for the whole thing. My doctor put an IV in my arm and gave me some pain medication. Once the speculum was in and the ultrasound could see my ovaries, he inserted a long needle into my vagina, which pierces the walls in order to extract (or empty) the follicles/eggs. It seems scary at first - being awake. Yet, it is so exciting as my doctor passes containers over to the scientist, who puts the containers under a microscope which is connected to a big flat screen TV. It was amazing to hear the scientist count the eggs and me being able to see them. I was almost on a high (or it could have been the drugs!).

Afterwards, I was wheeled out to recover (I felt fine, just a bit whoozy) while my husband was escorted (oh the need for a better word!) off to do his 'business' so we could fertilise the eggs. I really think my husband gets the easy part of the deal!

Not long after, the scientist comes in to tell me that they retrieved 15 eggs! Woo hoo! My doctor said his average is 6-10 so I am happy with my result. I have a weak cup of tea, get told some instructions and then go back with my husband to the hotel.

My husband has to go back home but I decide to stay as I don't want to make another trip back just 4 days later for the embryo transfer. My lovely brother looks after me at his house during that time. I started to get quite sick and could not walk well. My breathing was restricted and I looked like I was 6 months pregnant. I ring the doctor and it looks like I have OHSS (overstimulated ovaries) which can be dangerous. If you do any lifting etc you can twist an ovary. My doctor tells me I have fluid moving up to my lungs. Great. Just perfect.

I get to the day of the transfer and I am feeling slightly better. Until I am told that only 2 embryos survived. One embryo (blastocyst) was to be transferred back in me and one to be frozen. You think I would be happy but I just expected more to survive. After the transfer of the embryo, I was so upset and then the nurse (who had not taken blood much before - poor thing) couldn't get blood from one arm after putting the needle in and said she had to use the other arm. I lost it. Completely lost it. I cried like a baby. I felt so bad because the nurse thought I was upset with her and I wasn't. I was just bloated, felt awful, hormonal, sore and tired. I had been away from home for 6 days and I just wanted to leave.

Early May 2010 - My blood test to see if I was pregnant was scheduled on a Wednesday. I had to take clexane for about 12 days all up. Clexane is an injection and it is used for thinning blood. This injection is by far, the worse injection I have had out of all 4. The needles are blunt and after a few seconds the liquid really stings. My period arrived on the Monday (2 days before my blood test was due). It almost felt like I was having another miscarriage. The emotional pain was so bad. All that pain, time, money, wanting, etc... all for nothing. My mother in law found out that we were doing IVF from my sister in law (she slipped and told our secret which annoyed me!). My mother in law rang me a day before I got my period and was rude to me and basically got angry at me for not telling her about IVF and the miscarriages. She said it was her right to know. I was really upset as I believe it is my husband's and my business. No one else's. We can share it with whoever we like. She did not ask how I was. She did not care about all the miscarriages I had suffered or the emotional cycle of IVF we had just been through. She just cared that she didn't know the 'gossip'. When I got my period the next day, I couldn't help but feel a little resentful towards her. To be honest, I did not want her to know as she always says insensitive things and I did not want a reason to be upset with her as she has already given me plenty of other reasons to be upset. When I was in hospital for nearly 3 weeks all up, she only lived 10 minutes away and did not visit or phone call me once. So by me not telling her I was, in my own way, keeping the peace.

A few months passed by and my husband and I decided to use the frozen embryo. I had to take FSH for this cycle, even though there was no EPU as the doctor wanted to increase my lining. So, in August 2010, I went down to the clinic and hoped the blastocyst (day 5 embryo) would survive thawing. It did! Not only did it survive the thaw, it had starting expanding and compacting and it was also hatching. Here is a picture of the beautiful blastocyst hatching.

Once the gorgeous blast was transferred I had to take injections of clexane again. Ouch! About 5 days later I started getting positive pregnancy tests! Woo hoo!!! I was very excited as my lining got to 6.2mm this cycle, which I know is not 8mm like they want, but I have been told that full term pregnancies have occured with a lining of 5mm or more. Unfortunately, my dream was short lived and I had an early miscarriage just 5 or 6 days later. At this point, I was ready to give up.

September 2010

I started looking into adoption and fostering. The rules state that a couple can not undergo any fertility treatment while trying to adopt or foster. Agh! Why does everything have to be so difficult!

October 2010

October is an awful month for me. I have 2 angel's expected due dates in October and I lost the twins in October. I offically hate October. I can't believe I have lost 6 angels. I think about them every single day. Sometimes I get a bit sick and tired of how some people trivialise a loss or losses.

Since then I have seen a new fertility specialist who is through the public system as my husband and I do not have the money to keep going through the private clinic (as much as we love them). The new doctor wants me to get an endometrium biospy to check for NK Killer cells as these cells can kill unborn babies and cause recurrent miscarriages. These cells are usually treated with a steroid. I have to wait until my period starts, then get some blood tests. Then I'll have to have blood tests for about 20 days straight to make sure I get the biopsy done at the right time. I think the biopsy will be roughly in a months time. I am nervous to have the biopsy but after the new doctor looked at all of my notes and previous files (there were heaps) she said "after what you have been through, the biospy will be easy for you." Hopefully she is telling the truth!

Okay, that is most of my past now and I can start writing about current things. Hopefully I won't sound so boring now that I am not writing a recount of the last few years. I must admit, I feel better for getting it out there!

I will be back soon! Thanks for reading!