When feeling sad... SHOP!

I went to the GP last week and was told I have Alopecia. This is what is causing me to lose my hair in spots. It could be linked to stress, hormone levels or an auto-immune issue. Or all of the above (because, come on, we are talking about me here!) I am currently on a steroid cream but my GP could not reassure me as he said I may get more bald spots and he can't be certain the hair will grow back.

In the meantime, I have bought lots of new things and even had a bit of pampering. I had a mani and pedi the day of my GP appointment to help cheer me up. I also bought new shoes. These are no ordinary shoes. These shoes are sexy! They have a personality of their own. Okay, maybe not, but they definitely make me feel like I am a celebrity when I wear them. Picture below.

Then mum did my hair in a way so you can't see my bald spot. I was sporting the messy, bed hair look - half up half down. It didn't look too bad and my hair actually goes to my belly button so it is very long. I love my mum! We then all went out for dinner, drinks and dancing. Gosh, it felt good! For the first time in awhile, I really just had a good night and was happy.

So you are probably wondering what else I have purchased? I also bought VERY expensive shampoo, conditioner and scalp therapy. It's *supposed* to thicken hair.

I also bought a Kobo wifi ereader. Yay! I love to read and have wanted an ereader for ages. I was going to get the Kindle or Sony, but the Kobo had an awesome sale on and I could not resist. It will take awhile to deliver (it is coming from the States) but here is a pic I found.

I, of course, got the purple (lilac) one.
I have also purchased a new iPhone cover, 3 new bras, two new tops and a new pair of eyeglasses! Naughty me! I must admit, it has cheered me up a bit. I also try to remind myself that I am lucky that I am in a position that I can purchase such things.

Well, it is time to go and watch episode 2, Season 5 of Big Love. I love this show! Nothing like a TV show about polygamists trying to live in civilisation and family feuds!

Thank you to everyone who gives me ongoing support through your comments on my blog. These comments always mean a lot to me and touch me deeply. It is so lovely that people out there care about my situation and it makes me feel lucky during the difficult circumstances I am dealt.

I'm even less of a woman than I was before...

Just a quick post from me tonight. It is 2am and I can't sleep as I am crying my eyes out like a baby (probably not the best way for someone like me to put it).

I noticed spikey bits of hair on the crown of my head. I looked in the mirror and there is a bald patch bigger than a 50 cent piece. It looks disgusting. I have been crying so much that I nearly vomited. As if I already don't feel like a failure as a woman, now I get to go bald.

I am so scared that I will go bald all over and my husband will refuse to be with me. Why would he stay with me? I won't look like a woman and my body doesn't act like a woman's.

I've tried covering the bald spot with my hair but the bald spot shines on through. I look like an old guy with a bad comb-over.

I wish I could stop crying, forget about it, and go to sleep, but I can't. I don't want to face the world. I feel so unattractive. The thing is, my hair is (was) one of my best features.

My wonder dog

I was reading over some of my old posts and realised I said I would post a picture of my dog, Milly. Well here she is! The photo in the middle is when she was a young puppy.

The amount of times that Milly has cheered me up after a rough day/week/year is incredible. She always makes me smile and seems to sense when I am sad, showing me even more affection than usual (which is still quite a lot on a 'normal' day). She is so loyal and always feels the need to protect me. I am so lucky to have my husband and Milly in my life.

Sorry I haven't posted much. Christmas and the new year have been busy. I am also still getting my head around the Natural Killer Cells. Hopefully, I will be able to write a 'proper' post soon.