Just a quick post from me tonight. It is 2am and I can't sleep as I am crying my eyes out like a baby (probably not the best way for someone like me to put it).
I noticed spikey bits of hair on the crown of my head. I looked in the mirror and there is a bald patch bigger than a 50 cent piece. It looks disgusting. I have been crying so much that I nearly vomited. As if I already don't feel like a failure as a woman, now I get to go bald.
I am so scared that I will go bald all over and my husband will refuse to be with me. Why would he stay with me? I won't look like a woman and my body doesn't act like a woman's.
I've tried covering the bald spot with my hair but the bald spot shines on through. I look like an old guy with a bad comb-over.
I wish I could stop crying, forget about it, and go to sleep, but I can't. I don't want to face the world. I feel so unattractive. The thing is, my hair is (was) one of my best features.
That sounds truly horrifying!
ReplyDeleteTalk to your husband and let him reassure you. I'd want to be with my boyfriend even if he turned blue and sprouted wings because his personality, our shared history and the way he loves me are far more important than his appearance.
Oh Panda my heart is breaking for you :( Dont ever think you are less of a woman than anyone else. You are stronger and braver than many many women out there. I hope you are feeling calmer and had the chance to hug your husband im sure he loves you no matter what.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you
Karly x
Here's something to make you feel a bit better [hopefully]....I have a bald spot.
ReplyDeleteYou can only see it when I wear my hair a certain way but it IS there.
You know how I found out about it?
We were at a friends house with some other people for a barbie and I was sat on the lounge and my husband [who I do love despite wanting to kill at the time] came up to me and said in the loudest voice possible
"hey do you know that you have a bald spot right here"
while thrusting his finger towards said area!
I laugh now, heck I laughed then but inside I thought "oh my god I'm going bald!!!!"
He doesn't love me any less.
I will let you in on a secret that not many people seem to either know or acknowledge:
Our partners love us DESPITE our imperfections, they also love us BECAUSE of our imperfections.
I reckon you could lose all your hair and he'd still love the pants off you. If you had cancer and had to get chemo and therefore lost all your hair, do you think he'd leave you OR do you think he'd stand by you holding your hand while promising to never let it go?
Big hugs
~x~
hey beautiful, i am thinking of you and praying for you...please talk to your DP about the hair loss (sounds like alopecia, a good friend of mine has the same thing) unfortunatly the stresses you are under would be causing it :-( speak to a dr too...i think a cream can help with it? i have just read your entire blog today, and it had me in tears...thank you for opening up your heart to us- mine goes out to you xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks for all of the replies, lovely ladies. I went to the GP last week and I found out I do have Alopecia and it isn't certain if it is from stress, hormone levels (IVF), or auto-immune issues. I have all of the above! My mum has helped me to cover the spot, but the doctor said more spots may show up and that he can't say whether or not the hair will grow back which upsets me! My husband has been amazing. He keeps telling me how beautiful and amazing I am. Thank again for all of the replies. You all make me feel better and it means a lot to me.
ReplyDelete